ugh…. Some things just make me want to bang my head on a nice hard desk or something. On digg, there was this article about “hidden messages and images” in artwork. There are actually people who sit around all day, holding up mirrors to Da Vinci’s artwork trying to find hidden meaning and messages.

The three examples posted there are such a stretch it isn’t even funny. I love the Darth Vader look-alike that they “found” in the first painting.

The next one I wanna rant about is of John the Baptist. Here is the original painting of John the Baptist for reference, and the mirrored image without annotations of Adam and Eve in ‘coitus’. For Gods sake just say ’sex’ people, if someone gets offended, hit them upside the head; yet another thing that makes me wanna bang my head on something.

This image that follows I annotated with my own comments. Please enjoy and click for a larger version.

I’m pretty sure if Da Vinci was trying to hide a message about reproduction in the Garden of Eden, he would have at least gotten some anatomy done correctly. They aren’t even having sex the right way if the purpose was reproduction. If anything this mirrored image just looks like some freaked out alien creature with four legs and a thin body.

Just because Da Vinci wrote notes to himself using a mirror doesn’t mean every single thing he did needs a mirror held up to it. Unless someone can definitively proove otherwise, these are just silly coincidences.

I guess all I really gotta say is that artists back in that time weren’t hiding messages in their paintings, especially stuff so pervse like this Adam and Eve one. Da Vinci did a ton of work in his time, did many things. He wasn’t even all that into doing paintings, so why would he take time to add messages to them? He was an inventor and scientist at heart and did paintings as a side thing.

I think the only thing worse than this are people who think the Da Vinci Code was based on reality.

Anyway, one result we got earlier this week was “i spyed on my sister in the shower”. Sounds like we got ourselves a little pervert, probably a kid. Now the search in itself is funny enough, but out of curiousity I did the search too. This is what the summary was on the result page.

… my parents went through, not to mention me and my brother and sister. … When I was in the shower this morning I caught her watching me. …

My God that sounds like something right out of an erotic story. The two things out of context were from posts bren did. One about Meeka watching her in the shower and the one about the 17 year old in a car accident.

Taken out of context like that really makes bren look like she gets watched while taking a shower by her family members. Kinky, no?

Here’s a more hidden twister game from the Viagra guys, well an advertisement but whatever. I like this variation as well.

I’m up for a game.

• “pigeon pecking”
  I dunno why, but this one just sounds wrong to me on multiple levels. More I think about it, the weirder it sounds.
• “freaky fig picture”
  Looks like this person was looking for some kinky photos of my Fig. Freak.
• “sexual humping leg”
  Looks like we found someone with a special fetish.
• “sexual humping leg -dog -dogs”
  Persistent person too, came back 15 minutes later with two hits from this search after he weeded out all the dog leg-humping hits.
• “denzel pinky”
  Just thought I’d throw this one in, funny how the most obscure things, even stuff from a comment or two will get you hits on search engines.

Well that’s all of them for now. Hopefully some more weird searches will come up soon and after they build up I’ll post them again.

“Why aren’t you supposed to do magic?” asked Harry.

“Oh, well — I was at Hogwarts meself but I — er — got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an’ everything

A magic wang… this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

“Yes, yes. I thought I’d be seeing you soon. Harry Potter.” It wasn’t a question. “You have your mother’s eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work.”

“Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. “

Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

“Oh, move over,” Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry’s wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, ‘Alohomora!”

The troll couldn’t feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry’s wang had still been in his hand when he’d jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll’s nostrils.

He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll’s nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

“Yes,” Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding…. Any second now, he might hear his mother again… but he shouldn’t think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn’t want to… or did he?

Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

‘Get - off - me!’ Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.